“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” is a bible verse (James 1:8) that my Clinical Hypnotherapy teacher referred to often. When applied to our everyday lives, we may find that we often have doubts and when we listen to this inner dialog, we can end up in a place of indecision or “unstableness,” an inability to move forward. On the one hand, a smoker wants to quit but they feel that it relaxes them, relieving them from the stress of the day. Another person wants to ask for a raise or promotion but wonders if they are deserving enough. The person that knows they have high cholesterol but decides that a few more chips with his double bacon cheeseburger won’t hurt this time. How about the person in an abusive relationship that wants to leave but feels they have an otherwise solid connection with the other party? Have you ever noticed how strong the case is for any alternative choice when you use the word “but”?
The imagination or unconscious mind is very powerful and while it does its best to serve us, it is all about seeking the path of least resistance. It is much easier to relax with a smoke than it is to quit and when we have conflicts between the conscious and unconscious mind that says, “I need to quit but I’m so stressed”, the unconscious will typically win.
I often catch my kids using the word but, and anytime I hear it, I immediately interrupt and say something like, “But? You mean and?” (Yes, they are now conditioned and know what I’m talking about and certainly don’t want to hear dad talk about this again). “I was going to do the dishes, but”…Now, this word but is powerful in that it negates anything said immediately before it and prepares to offer the path of least resistance or that of double mindedness, inaction. So, how to address this seemingly innocent word of the ego or subconscious? Stop using it.
Now suppose, we were to replace the word but with and? This is in a sense, empowering. Instead of negating the first part of the statement, it would be a continuation. “I was going to do the dishes and when I finish ____, I will do them. “I need to quit smoking and when I find a way to deal with stress, it will be much easier.” “I would really put in for that position and because I am qualified, I will.”
Recognize different ways your subconscious mind tries to control you (Fear, doubt, cant’s, etc) and consciously replace your buts with and.
